The New Me…

31 07 2006

It’s simply a coincidence that in my very first blog entry in my new “home”, I wrote about the “new” me…

When people say things like a “new me,” it’s usually said in a positive note. In my case, it is the opposite. Many have noticed, recently including myself, that there have been many changes about me. Unfortunately, these have not been good changes. Apart from the obvious physical change (gaining back all the, if not adding more, pounds I lost last year), there are more serious matters that I have to address.My service and commitment, though not totally off, is not in the same level that I expect myself to be in. I can’t even get 50% of my members to answer my text message. Ok, so that’s not entirely my fault but still, that’s not good.I am not as approachable as before. I seem to have a very short fuse these days. I know, I’ve always had a pretty bad temper… but lately it’s just been really bad. I am no longer patient with people, and I no longer radiate that warmth and comfort that I used to. I say this because I’ve noticed that less and less people are comfortable in opening up to me while it used to be so easy before.

Finally, I have been a very insensitive and no-good boyfriend. No longer was I the romantic (Fine! Fine!) mushy guy that I was when I started courting her or when we started out. Sure, it’s expected that the “honeymoon” stage will end some time but it should not diminish completely, which I felt is exactly what happened.

There are things I could blame. Living in a new area far from Alaine’s as well as our community. Working in a new environment, with all the adjustments and pressure in the corporate world. Other hopes and dreams that I want to achieve.. But in the end, I know that these were not to blame. All these were external to me. In the end, it really was up to me how I would let them affect me. And, unfortunately, I crumbled under pressure…

So here I am once more, reflecting on the new me… Can I turn the tables again to come out with a newer me? This time, a better, newer me… Or maybe, it might even be better to just find the old me.

For those whom I have failed and wronged because of the “new” me, I apologize and ask for your forgiveness. I ask for your guidance and your prayers as I once again go on my journey to find myself once more.

May God be praised…




3 responses

1 08 2006
rey mendoza,jr

On being a good boyfriend – I read something that will surely make her happy. This was the final recommendation the author has said on the end of his book (forgot the name of the book)

“Love her, love her, love her!”


1 08 2006

Go back to that ‘place’ in your mind where you were at you best – you were happy, relaxed, collected and contented. Start from there. Sometimes we just need to experience again how it was to be at our best to be able to map a way to get there again. God Bless bro! 🙂

1 08 2006

At the end of the day, thinking that we are blessed in so many ways makes our dispositions in life change for the better and foster a more gracious demeanor. Peace bro!

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